One of five venues in the burgeoning chain of fully-nude lapdancing clubs, Secrets Holborn is a tiny venue that is bound to be a drain on the wallet with it's expensive drink prices.
Just round the corner from Chancery Lane station, in the legal district of Grays Inn Road, stands an unassuming doorway, which from 7.30pm onwards is guarded by a couple of imposing bouncers. Venture inside, past the velvet rope and down the stairs, and you’ll find yourself treated to a world of burlesque. The decor is certainly attractive with a stage and single pole central to the action. However, just be aware that this club is extremely small in stature. There is a limo service that will ferry you from one venue to another, with Champagne to keep you entertained along the way.
If you're expecting supermodels, you'll be disappointed. That said, the girls here come from all walks of life and all corners of the globe, their most striking similarity being their tight frocks. On the pole they never remove their clothes, but their dances are exciting enough - their agility something to marvel at. If you wish to enjoy a personal dance they will lead you to the booths around the edge of the club, which are dimly lit and a bit more private. All the girls are approachable but they can and often do come across as pushy. Fittingly, the men (or women) have to make a little effort, too – the dress code is smart casual, and although you’ll get stag parties mingling with the city gents, they won’t be the football shirt wearing type; boisterous behaviour is monitored.
The girls dance to a backdrop of pop and RnB, but you probably won’t notice the music much!
Undoubtedly the biggest drawback, the drinks will set you back a small fortune. You can expect to exclaim, "How much!" when handed a bill for £15 for two small bottles of beer, with an added 15% service charge plonked on top. Just don't expect much change from a £20. You'll also be 'helpfully' asked if you want another drink shortly after buying one, which can come across as pushy. Stella and Becks are the only options, with nothing on tap. If you want to justify high prices, however, there are vintage Champagnes on offer (where there is actually more choice – perhaps a reflection of their usual and desired clientele).
The Last Word
With expensive drinks and a tiny venue, Secrets Holborn unfortunately falls short of some of the bigger strip clubs in the area that it's in competition with.