Tonteria information

Tonteria is the latest offering by Guy Pelly and Marc Burton of Mahiki and Whisky Mist. Expect a range of Mexican dishes and an extensive cocktail selection all served within chic surroundings.

Ranked #57 of 2091 pubs & bars in London
"Tonteria is a unique Mexican inspired tapas/tequila bar and nightspot in Sloane Square, famous for hosting one the wildest Monday nights in the world! We call them Muertos Mondays, but its not the only mad night of the week, Tonteria brings you weekly events with all sorts of madness happening throughout the evening.

Upon entering Tonteria you will feel like you have been transported into a Mexican Mad House, with a small train running along the ceiling delivering tequila shots to your table, incredibly creative sharing cocktails served in Mayan Pyramids and crazy dancers that we call TonteHunks and TonteBabes (they don't wear much clothing).

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All aboard the Tonteria Express!"

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Opening Hours
Opening Hours

20:30 - 03:00






06:30 - 02:30


18:30 - 03:00


06:30 - 02:30



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What did you think of Tonteria?

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Tonteria reviews

By Lisa G.

The place is awful, it might be popular, but with the type of people , who you would avoid .. The girls working there look cheap, and treat other girls with such hatred. they are jealous of the fact that maybe we got more attention dressed cool, than they did in a ann summers ensemble ..... If the owners think that that sort of treatment from their staff is going to make it a fun place, they are wrong.. I know loads of girls who would not walk into the place.. and all you have there now is rich foreigners, and cheap waitresses.. reminds me of a knocking shop in a expensive area... Really think its time for the older generation of club owners to retire, and leave it to the cooler places, that are now popping up in South West London. that cater for women who do not like to be treated like sex objects... what could a place like this offer a women who has a brain... as as far as I can see, the men who go there are only interested in one thing... and I am sure that they get it there....Its based on a old system .. and times are changing in LOndon.

By Frank L.

Definitely a place to be. Every time I visit London there's no way I won't go to at least one party at Tonteria. The crazy, fun vibe created by the shows, outfits the staff is wearing and great music makes each night exceptional. No surprise it's getting busier and busier and last time I went there (Monday night, 2 weeks ago), it took me about 45 min to get in with my friends. It felt like ages and I was close to go home but to be honest - it was worth waiting. The wrestling shows are something you always want to come and see, especially after a few margaritas. Wish the place was slightly bigger as it sometimes gets hard to order a drink or move but on the other hand it somehow enhances the madness and fun vibe as all people share it and see everything that is going on in the club.

By James G.

Love Tonteria. Started visiting last year and within a couple of nights all the bar staff, bouncers and management greeted me personally and have made myself, friends and clients feel incredibly welcome. Being in the centre of Sloane Square and probably the most talked about club in London it goes without saying that the prices are not Wetherspoon esq! However, I find we get much more from our money than other establishments around the area. The Mexican theme works really well and the added entertainment during the night is wild, hilarious and very sexy! This is not A place for the faint hearted! The dance floor is always totally packed so if you are having a catch up with friends do not come to Tonteria. However, if you are pumped up and looking for an outrageous and wild night out then I couldn't recommend Tonteria more! Arrive early and prepared to avoid the queues. Otherwise round up a group and get a table. Works out very reasonable!

By Jodie M.

Also my 'personal critique' was other warnings not just the fact that the management do a poor job but that the club was s**t in general. Waitresses in Ann Summers, very rude and obnoxious door staff, no room to move inside due to the club being over capacity and a horrible clientele as people were coming over to ask us for our drinks.

By Jodie M.

"Me and a group of friends were invited to Tonteria to sponsor their Halloween event in exchange for a table and 'free drinks all night'." Try reading my review. It clearly states they invited us to the club to sponsor the event in exchange for a table and drinks all night. We actually did spend money, we bought two bottles at a total of £1500. Not that it matters. You clearly work there to be taking my review to heart.

By Glenn B.

So in your review you state that you & your friends were invited down. Now your story has changed to your company was sponsoring the event! If the later is true you or your CEO should take the matter up with the management of Tonteria rather than writing a personal critique. By the sounds of things you personally didn't spend a penny in the club so I bet the management team of Tonteria are heartbroken to learn that you're never going back!

By Jodie M.

Because our company were sponsoring the event! They contacted us to ask if we would sponsor them in exchange for a table and free drinks.

By Jodie M.

I think any good reviews on Tonteria have to be from the staff! Me and a group of friends were invited to Tonteria to sponsor their Halloween event in exchange for a table and 'free drinks all night'. Which we didn't believe anyway but they still said it. When we arrived everything was a mess. There was no queue organisation whatsoever, the queue was everywhere, not in a line. Everywhere. People pushing everyone and big security men being absolute d**ks ordering people about. We were on the guestlist but obviously the door staff are so unorganized they didn't see this, after around 40 minutes of standing outside they finally found us. Inside you can't even move. It had to have been about 100 people overcapacity. The club is tiny! We got taken to our 'table' which was in fact about enough space for one small person to squeeze in and sit down. No table. The corner or a sofa. Eventually the waitress, (who only acknowledged the males in the group and was very dismissive of any girls) found us a slightly bigger area, sorted us out no drinks at all and left. All night we had people coming into our area and trying to take our drinks and girls coming over asking to share our drinks. Horrible place. Horrible people trying to be something they're not. Fake shows where they keep stopping the music to bring out alcohol (i didn't see anyone with the alcohol), the worst staff I can imagine who clearly don't know what they're doing and who are to interested in trying to look good. Just overall a very bad night. I would never go back and would not recommend. By far the worst place I've been to in London.

By Rosanna F.

Whatever the weather, season, day of the week, even time of day (a bbirthday brunch had me dancing on the ceiling at 3pm) - Tonteria is too fabulous. There couldn't have been a better venue for my birthday this year - endless drinks brought out to the beats of In Da Club, just the right tunes at just the right time and dancing all night - it even got my parents kon the dancefloor when the last time they had ventured out was to Annabels 30 years ago. They loved it, I love it - go Tonteria! - Rosanna Falconer

By Rosie E.

"do not disturb Thursdays"? "do not bother Thursdays" would be a more appropriate name for this disaster of an evening! That is unless you like spending 2 hours queuing with gurning door staff eye balling you. Completely shambolic queue organisation, grimy bouncers matched only by the grimier clientele, flowing with over inflated egos, fake tits and peroxide. Don't believe the hype, this night is a joke. Complete waste of time. Deserving of no stars at all!

By Tim O.

Almost certainly the most fun night out in London at the moment. Always busy with great vibe and awesome bar staff. Marc Burton has spun his magic and this place is here to stay. Roll on ' Do Not Disturb Thursdays'!

By Ellie S.

Without a doubt West London's best and most inconspicuous night club! Look for the bright yellow banners and neon lights nestled inbetween the Botanist and The Sloane Square Hotel, this is where the fun and madness is building, a million miles away from the serene facade of the Royal Borough. My most recent visit was to celebrate my friends birthday and the level of service and attention we received was second to none. Tonteria is small, but that means there is always an amazing atmosphere, however we arrived quite late, and being a Saturday night, it was rammed. Luckily it was full of people simply having good time so the fact that it was crowded didn't matter. We were put on a wonderful table right in the middle of the dance floor and the middle of the action. I have been in the VIP section on previous occasions which sometimes can feel quite detached...if that's what you want, great, but generally I enjoy being more in the hub. We ordered some of the impressive sharing drinks, our favourites being the multi coloured frozen Margahrita shots that went down too easily! The drinks were delivered by jaw dropping masked waiters with sparklers and special music that interrupted the mainstream tunes. On that note I must mention the music ... You have to dance to it! A perfect mix of top 40, r'n'b, hip hop and golden classics fill this electrifying cavern, you will always hear people at the end of the night saying, 'The music was just amazing!' certainly a key element that is rare to find at the moment, the head honchos clearly know which DJ's to call upon! Overall if you want a fun night out, you will certainly not be disappointed. Tonteria is not for the faint hearted though, you need stamina but I defy anyone to not have the time of their life at this hedonistic hacienda !

By Kamran S.

Always have the best time at Tonteria! Amazing music, fantastic cocktails, friendly staff and a really cool mix of people, Tonteria never fails to put on a show. If you’re lucky enough to get a table I would grab dinner before the club opens, the miniature Mexican specialities are so addictive! Then dance the night away whilst sipping on some frozen margaritas, they’re so tasty. Yet lethal (possibly the best in London!). Perfect place to start and end an evening! Oh, and look out for the shot train. All abroad the Tonteria Express, choo choooo!

By Patrick D.

When I first heard about Tonteria in the Evening Standard I thought it would be way over budget and inaccessible for an after work party, but it was completely different to what I expected. Once you've booked a table for tapas and drinks they send you an email confirming everything and telling you when you need to arrive/dress code etc and you're away! They do awesome (and potent!) margaritas, Mexican sharing food and every type of tequila imaginable. It was the toy train delivering drinks to our table that was the most fun - the waiter even let me drive it! Brilliant alternative to the usual dull after work drinks - took the pressure off me as organiser too ;-)

By Henrietta S.

If you're looking to dance your socks off and indulge in a few frozen margaritas and tequila this your place! Recently had an amazing night out here after work - would prefer to keep it a bit of a secret but felt I had to recommend it!

By Lee A.

Without doubt the best monday night in London!! Never fails to entertain on all levels..:-) Great music, waiters and waitresses... Awesome crowd and good fun night out!

By Lucie B.

I decided to go down to Tonteria for my Birthday this year and had the most brilliant time. The staff were friendly and attentive from the start bringing us all our drinks and making sure we were happy throughout the night. We loved the Frozen Marghuerita Cocktails - so delicious worth heading down just to sample these plus the music was so good. Tune after tune was being pumped out which kept us dancing til 3am!! I went with a group of 18 girls and we all said how fab it was. The club was buzzy and everyone was super friendly without the arrogance of other London clubs. I'll be heading down again very soon.

By Sian J.

An amazing night out! You can't help but have fun - everyone is there for a good time, the DJ is incredible and the cocktails are delicious. Go with friends, get some frozen margaritas and dance all night!

By Andrew B.

Great evening out. The atmosphere is fun and lively as well as being very edgy and cool. The staff were very polite and attentive. Everyone should have their drinks delivered on the train! The Mexican day of the dead theme really works well and the food is great. Not the cheapest night out, but definitely worth it.

By Mel K.

I begrudge even giving this club one star as it doesn't deserve it. I arrived at Tonteria at the weekend after reserving a table and paying a deposit only to be told that we weren’t on the list, we then spoke to the guy who we arranged it with and he revealed it was because they didn’t like the way we looked. I was completely outraged that some people could be so disgustingly judgemental purely on appearance. How on earth I was being told I was not the “right clientele” for this club, by a guy with a bright blonde Mohican, is beyond me. I would understand if we were dressed inappropriately, like the girls we saw wandering around in Ann Summers sailor suits, but we all had conservative and tasteful dresses on. Ironically I can only judge from the outside as we wasn’t let in the club, having never experienced being turned away from a London club and partying in the likes of Bungalow 8, Whisky Mist and Mahiki I can honestly say I have never come across such disgusting behaviour from someone standing at the door of a club with a clipboard and a guy who is paid to bring people drinks all night. I am glad we wasn’t let in as the thought of spending over £2000 in this club makes me sick to my stomach!

By Anika J.

I came here with 7 others and we had a great time dancing and drinking until 2:30am. Was sorted out by a PR someone recommended on here (07449 310849).. Fridays are nights that are definitely a great night to go. It was a terrific night and we will definitely be back. Only drawback is that it's small but guess when you get free drinks, among good looking people then that doesn't matter!

By Celi A.

This deserves no stars whatsoever. Door girl is rude and obnoxious but then checks her list to see who your with and suddenly become nice. bouncers are rude and on a serious power trip who swear at anyone who says anything. The place is very small and stuffy. Bar staff were friendly and cocktails were ok though, but other more welcoming places around.

By J F.

Had a shocking night. We organised a Hen Party for 15 girls which had been planned and booked in for months, plus confirmation. The bookings girl was rude and arrogant and clearly didn't listen to a thing we said as we turned up at 10pm, bang on time and there was no table for us. We then had to wait until they removed some people to make space for us. When we eventually got in, they had run out of the drinks which we had ordered and budgeted for and again. Confirmed the night before. They then offered us a replacement which was £100 more expensive. When we finally sorted drinks out, we had to wait for a good half an hour for any of them to be delivered to our table, and then when they were, one of their staff removed 6 chairs from our seating area so that some of the girls had to stand. After a complaint, they sent out some complimentary shots. But sent 10. There were 15 of us! The manager then made a reference that our money was nothing compared to the usual spend at their tables on a Saturday night. As if that was an explanation for a awful service-please?! All in all an extemely disappointing night and I will definately never be going back there.

By Kate S.

What a ghastly dive. Overpriced, tiny Margaritas. I and my friends had possibly the worst dining experience I have ever had the misfortune to suffer. After waiting 50 minutes for our food order, a member of the party complained and had the waiter shout in her face. The cocktails were the smallest I have ever seen. That is if they arrived at all or were indeed what was even ordered. I give it less then a year before it thankfully will close down.

By Ems W.

Lucky to get any stars at all. First of all, this was never a big place, but it is tiny, dingy, dark and stuffy. Full of showboaters and people trying to show how big an ego they have. Love the show where they bring out the crystal and DP, oh wait that isn't for tables, its just what whiskey mist used to do to make the place look good. Staff are generally ok but look bored, bouncers are so rude at the entrance and the other reviews are so right, they are all just on a power trip and pay you, the customers any attention at all. We all heard a skin head foreign bouncer tell someone to F*** Off... Lovely start to an evening! Avoid.

By Veronika D.

Small but that makes it very intimate and cozy. The people are great, music is fun and cocktails are good even though pricey, but you would expect that from the area. Overall, great night out!

By Glenn B.

Been a few times now & I really like Tonteria. It is on the small side but very stylish. The sharing drinks are delicious, we all enjoyed them. The music is good. The staff are friendly, efficient & remember you. The tapas are excellent. It is well worth booking in advance to get a table.

By Albie E.

omg! delicious food, amazinnnggg and potent cocktails...the crowd is hotness...the shows are amazing! best time ever! i love it there....

By Boo H.

I came to Tonteria last night for the first time, it's little and has a great atmosphere. The bar and door staff were very friendly and accommodating and my friends and I had a great boogie! Will definitely be back there next Monday, I need to test out the tequila train!!

By Bar V.

This may yet be a good venue. What a location. Mock damp walls and ceiling toy train are different, there are alcoves and a dance floor. Seeing bearded solo male MJ chased downstairs into his own club by security was a highlight presently suggesting amateur panto night. Good bodied staff in skeleton make up and star cocktails served in gimp masks were not creating a party. Their mid range Spanish red wine was splendid at a price. Nice and efficient floor staff. Monday night is party night will have to decide who it is wishing to attract.

By Reese D.

Went this past weekend for a night out. This place is completely overhyped and cashing in on a lot of publicity. Service was poor and the scene was not impressive- what you'd get at any average spot in london. It's trying very hard to be cool...but there are much better, more fun place in the city. oh and no point in bothering with the food, it's not food so much as a few snacks.

By Sophia H.

Lucky to get any stars from anyone in my opinion. Think other reviews have said it all really, it has been very over-hyped for what it is, very very small (the so called 'vip' at the back only has one table in it!), the train around the ceiling is quite cool. Staff seemed rather to over attentive which by the end of the night was just very annoying, bouncers are just the typical thugs you find but there are looads of them for how small this place is and they are very power crazed. Overall 1 star, think they've got it slightly wrong this time...

By Ellen L.

Over-hyped, over priced - they had the cheek of putting drink prices up after 10.30, obnoxious and nasty bouncers! Once is enough!

By Nicholls J.

Tonteria is not that bad few faults are it is tiny inside and seems to be packed but there is only maybe 150 at most inside. Not liking the fact that there is nowhere to put your drinks as you need to book a table. Also the bar area is tiny too!! The music is good and service is ok. All this talk about (bouncers,security,doormen) is pointless as they don't make the choice if you come in or not that's someone else. Think they are ok didn't seem they did anything wrong. Other then that club is ok wouldn't give it 5* tho so I think 3* is pretty ok for the music and the girls that are dressed up that's all worth going there for.

By James H.

Looked at the reviews below before writing mine, don't usually write them but though I should after my experience. The queue was shrouded by a bunch of wannabe's in the smoking area and when you get to the front it isn't much better. Door girl thinks a bit too much of herself... The actual venue is kitted out nicely and music was good, don't have any complaints about security except the one on the front could do with an English lesson and they seemed very miserable. The main reason for 1 star is the fact it is soo small, very very cramped and really hot, it was seriously sweaty and uncomfortable! Also looking at the reviews below come on, 5 stars every time... the staff/security/directors should stop writing them...

By Nicholls M.

Tonteria is awesome lovely little club based in the heart of sloane square. It's a smart casual dress sense to get in and the music is modern with a great mix from the DJ. I've read about the security and staff and I agree with the last two comments security where world class looked and acted professional and had a lovely friendly touch too. They made you feel safe and welcome and also looked very nice. Loved the service I got and felt treated like a VIP. Will be going back on weekends for sure this time with my friends. 5* security 5* services 5* music it's the place to be seen peeps

By John C.

Tonteria is a smart and trendy club in sloane square and it's open till late all the other bars are closed by the time you leave here. I think the comments about staff and the much talked about security are just incorrect I think security looked smart and professional and very friendly they greeted me and two of my friends with smiley faces and sir and madames it was also nice having the door opened coming in and out if your a smoker. I was there last might 3rd october and I mean it was packed the guy on the door upstairs must of opened and closed the door a thousand times. In general the club is excellent and they play a blend of Dance and R&B along with other wicked mixes. I like the tequila express train its a nice touch and also I like the service when they come round with the sparklers and party poppers all dressed up in fancy dress it's really cool I iked my time and recommend a visit if your in the area 5*

By Steph R.

I went out to Tonteria on Wednesday night for a Halloween party and I have read some of the reviews about staff and security and I must say they are totally rubbish. As you approach the club you are greeted by a lovely smiley security member and also so polite young lady who greet you and make you feel welcomed. You also have the door opened for you by security and I must say they where all very nicely dressed and looked smart,approachable and friendly. The club has an amazing staff work rate and they make sure you feel like your being treated special. I also like the train that goes round and drops off tequila shots thought that was awesome and also the girls dressed up and bringing round drinks with sparklers its a must see. I loved my time there and will be going back on the weekend.

By Amy H.

The other reviews must be written by someone working there, this place is tiny, has no aircon, is so sweaty and they try and pack in loads of people to make it look good when it just becomes cramped. We in total spent 30 mins in there before it became unbearable and went somewhere else that had an atmosphere. The waitress outfits are quite saucy, that appears to be the only plus point, quite a few fat old men in there (guess thats what there trying to attract). The other review is right though, bouncers are rude and very unwelcoming. Won't be going back in a hurry.

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